Shotta Man

True Freedom!!!

         

          I have been struggling with a particular addiction for many years now and there have been so many times where I relinquished the habit only to find myself picking it up again!!! Always, I was under the impression that God had truly freed me and like the woman caught in adultery I would go and sin no more. Recently I fell into the habit again; the ugly thing is the hate and disgust I feel toward myself after I'm finished. On Tuesday night, I felt Jesus telling me to pack my my bags and follow Him and never return to this ugly place of sin and despair. I did follow him but there is a fear threatening to overwhelm me to the point of oblivion.

           I fear that like those other times the temptation will be too strong and I will turn my back on God like I did before. I spoke to my mom and she says I'm being to negative and that I need to claim the promises of the bible more,. I'm working on that but I'm not sure if I believe them. I yearn to reach to a place where my heart will be desperately thirsting and hungering after Him. I want to be like Moses who after weighing the pleasures of this earth and the joy promised of God chose to endure hardships with his people because he knew there was better on its way. The question that looms over me like a hammer on a tiny piece of string ready to pop at any minute is WILL I EVER REACH THERE? WILL I EVER EXPERIENCE TRUE FREEDOM?

Almost there...

I am almost finished with my Bsc in social work and I am nervous as hell...I am however confident that God has never left me before and He will not do so now. That sure is comforting, I was even more empowered by the fact that it is a normal feeling that so many other prospective graduands faced. The authors of this article did a good job of alleviating my fears as well:

http://www.socialworker.com/home/Feature_Articles/Professional_Development_&_Advancement/Treating_New_Social_Worker_Anxiety_Syndrome_%28NSWAS%29/

Reading Maketh a Man

A Book 

                                                                      by Edgar Guest

 

“Now” - said a good book unto me -
“Open my pages and you shall see
Jewels of wisdom and treasures fine,
Gold and silver in every line,
And you may claim them if you but will
Open my pages and take your fill.

“Open my pages and run them o’er,
Take what you choose of my golden store.
Be you greedy, I shall not care -
All that you seize I shall gladly spare;
There is never a lock on my treasure doors,
Come - here are my jewels, make them yours!

“I am just a book on your mantel shelf,
But I can be part of your living self;
If only you’ll travel my pages through,
Then I will travel the world with you.
As two wines blended make better wine,
Blend your mind with these truths of mine.

“I’ll make you fitter to talk with men,
I’ll touch with silver the lines you pen,
I’ll lead you nearer the truth you seek,
I’ll strengthen you when your faith grows weak -
This place on your shelf is a prison cell,
Let me come into your mind to dwell!”

Wise Woman Builds her House...

School girl crush....

I like him so much and he doesn't even notice..sheesh. Everyday he walks past me I get nervous. Is that alrite? Should I be feeling this way? I try to study and he is all I think about!!  I feel a little like Charlie in the cartoon "You're in love". I want to talk to him, even if it doesn't lead to a relationship, at least I want to be his friend. I don't see this friendship happening anytime soon..so where does that leave me??? Smh

Gifts found before 11:00 am

I'm thanking God for :
Conversations with God

Friends who I can have great sleep overs with

Cornmeal Porridge with ccrackers

Fish left over from last night

The chance to share: even if it's a simple phone call

Watching favorite tv shows

 I'm thanking God for the invention of the internet from whence I got these beautiful representations of my gifts.

I miss my time with you- Larnelle Harris

Riddle of the Day!!!!

Question : What is greater than God? More evil than Satan? Rich people need it, poor people have it, and if you eat it you will die. 

Bet u can't get the answer!!! Tune in tomorrow for the results!!

Friendships- conversations

Real Friendships are built on conversations.......

I love deep lasting, conversations. Not the simple hurried conversations where you just talk about trivial 'stuff', but the long ones that are meant to be savored. The ones that make time fly and you don't even realize, the ones that leave you with a smile on ur face and you don't even realize its there. The conversations that make you long to see the person after they've gone; its a rarity when you should find that kindred soul, so if you do, be sure to relish the moments and cherish the friendship.

 

Constancy....

I am grateful today that CONSTANCY is a part of God's makeup. He is constant in his forgiveness, His grace, His mercy and His compassion.

Everyday He presents us with brand new opportunities to live clean lives that are reflective of Him. When we mess up, He offers His forgiveness in a heart beat and wipes our slates clean. You know that's the good thing about slates, they can be erased. Our bad habits, our negative thoughts, our sinful disgusting actions, all of them can be erased as if they had never been. I am a living testimony of God's mercy. When I barefacedly sin against God, he sends His Holy Spirit to convict my consicence and offer me restoration. I join in saying with Jeremiah that God's mercy are indeed new every morning.

Lamentations 3:21-23

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ²¹ Yet I still dare to hope
      when I remember this:

 ²² The faithful love of the LORD never ends!^[a]
      His mercies never cease.
 ²³ Great is his faithfulness;
      his mercies begin afresh each morning. 

Eugene Peterson captures it beatifully in his paraphrase The Message

 Here's his take on the same passage (verses 19-24)

Lamentations 3:21-23

The Message (MSG)

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

 ^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:  ^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.

Thank you God for rescuing me. It's not just a one time thing, everyday I wake, He resuces me from myself when I would succumb to the temptations of the Devil and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I am Loved

While I do not have a significant other (I am praying though), I am celebrating the greatest LOVER of all times!! His name is Jesus!! I have no need to complain because His love satisfies... It restores...It provides... and it keeps me grounded. God thank you for the many ways you show me you love me each day. Today being the day that most people celebrate LOVE, I will be looking out even more for your wonderful displays and the creative means you use to show them to me of ...can't wait to see them!!!

Three Gifts red...

Today I am to look for three gifts red...so far I have found a myriad of them courtesy of God...yaaayness. Here is what HE has gifted me with so far:

 

 A wonderful blend of nature, friends, signs that tell you what to do (reminiscent of GOD'S WORD) and the most beautiful gitf of all GOD'S SON: JESUS!!

Don't Worry...Be happy!!

Lord my prayer for today: SOOTHE MY FEARS, CALM MY RESTLESS HEART AND HELP ME NOT TO WORRY SO MUCH....

God's Daughter: Wednesdays

God's Daughter: Wednesdays

Wednesdays

Failing...

Today I failed God. I presumptuously succumbed to sin and I wonder if any of His promises apply to me anymore. I seem to put myself above His will every time and I fall prey to this particular sin over and over again. I am tired of failing but I am too weak to make restitution for the hurt I've caused to the people I love namely my parents. Is there any hope for me?

Gifts

Today I thank God for quiet moments.

I thank Him for each each day THAT HE MAKES my sense of gratitude more keen. I am thanking Him for a heart that grows more loving each day. I thank Him for my family even though my brother and sister are making my heart hurt. This leads to my forever gratitude for the assurance that He has given me that He still is in control.

I am learning what a delight it is to put the needs of others, even those I don't know, before God because He is the only one who can take care of each of them. I still battle with self and sometimes, when I find myself praying for others, a request on my behalf pushes its little head into the picture, but the Holy Spirit is doing an awesome work on catching me up on my selfishness.

Today I look for three gifts that I overhear: so far I have overheard my roommate telling her friend that her bout with constipation is coming to an end and I am thankful even for bodily movements.

However, there are so many gifts that is being brought to my attention: hugs, smiles, helping hands that push buttons that open doors for the elderly, thinking minds that offer help and praying hearts that send up requests on the behalf of others, glowing faces radiant with Perfect Peace and families struggling, hurting but still holding on...

For all this and more my heart is grateful.....and now I await to overhear my other gifts twain....

Counting one thousand gifts

Thanks to Ann Voskamp

A New Month...

Ooh...I am alive to see the bith of a new month and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I am to find three gifts today: one at 11:00 am, one at 2:30 pm and the last one at 6:00 pm.
At 11:00 my first gift is the Woman of Faith Study Bible. God is however bent to show me just how many things to be thankful for. At about 12:00 as I leave for class, my slippers prove too fragile to handle the rocky terrain and finally gives up on me. It surrenders to the obstacles of the rocks in its path (something I vow never to do with God's help).

For a while I stood there trying to resuscitate it, breathe life into it so it can bear me one more journey back to home, but my efforts fail, I decide to barefoot it.

Lo and Behold, God proves that He is careful and interested in every part of my life even the very soles of my feet. HE SENDS HELP. I see my friend coming towards me and I ask if she has an extra pair of slippers and I bet you can't guess what her answer is. Wow you sure are smart, her answer is indeed yes, not only that, it is just my size. I am provided with a slipper to take me home. So there... I have two gifts so far and 2:30 isn't even here yet...Stay tuned for my other gifts...the month of february looks promising indeed!!

happy dance pics on Sodahead

Today...

Today I have decided to take the JOY DARE!!! I am on the quest to find 1000 GIFTS to thank God for!!! I can't wait to see what those things are. I anticipate the development of a heart that grows immensely more grateful than it ever was. I anticipate a joy that will transcend into my every day activities......from cleaning the bathroom to dealing with a difficult roomate. I ANTICIPATE......... I AM HOPEFUL...I CHOOSE GRATITUDE!!!