An Addict's Lament

How the HELL did I get here?
How the HELL did I allow myself to be captive;
To be a slave to my own passions?
Caught up in five minutes of momentary pleasure,
Forgetting the vow I made with God only seeking to please myself.

I am an addict, it's as simple as that,
I quit!! I must have said that a thousand times,
Yet still I feel my fingers reaching down,
My womanhood throbs and five seconds later,
After the fleeting pleasure,
Guilt sticks its knife into my mind, twisting without remorse

God only knows that the help that will eradicate this self-fulfilling, destructive pleasurable decadence,
Can only be found in Him,
But where is He now?
Doesn't He hear me crying out to Him out of the depths of my own, self-induced orgasmic prison?
When will he come like a thief and steal me away from this bomb disguised as bliss?
It had better be soon, else I fear that I'll be beyond redemption, when finally he decides to show up.

Shanniel Shakespeare
Copyright 2011